Menu

What does Grace and Courtesy look like in practice?

The purpose of the Grace and Courtesy curriculum in Montessori is to offer our children the best possible assistance on this path. Explaining and modeling clearly, we share the most harmonious ways of behaving, relating and communicating, and help children practice and master them. Step by step, from the simplest skills (like saying “excuse me” or shaking hands) children build a “vocabulary” of actions that allows them to act appropriately and feel confident in social settings. How do we actually practice it in particular age groups?

0-3 years: It’s All About Direct Involvement

In early childhood there are only a few Grace and Courtesy lessons that can be presented and practiced by the child; most of the curriculum lies in how we as adults act towards children and towards one another. When interacting with small children, this includes speaking to them directly and not over their head, getting down to the child’s level, and respecting their personal integrity – for example, not requiring a small child to shake your hand or hug you upon greeting. With older toddlers, we may practice polite phrases and greetings, covering mouth when sneezing, or knocking on doors.

Tips:

  • Prioritize participating in family meal times, events and celebrations.

  • Model polite greetings and phrases (“please”, “thank you”, “excuse me”).

  • Practice expressing feelings, wishes, wants and preferences (“I would like...”).

3-6 years: When Friendships Are Born

The Primary years are when personal grace and courtesy skills come to the forefront of the child’s interest! Newly social, preschool children are finding themselves needing to navigate conflicts or treat friends well. Concrete lessons include requesting help, solving disagreements, taking turns and sharing. 

Tips:

  • Practice solving conflicts between siblings and friends, with and later without adult mediation.

  • Explain and require polite behavior in different settings (greeting guests, introducing oneself, in restaurants, theatres or sport facilities).

  • Show how to offer and ask for help.

  • Actively participate in cultural and religious events.

6-12 years: What Does It Mean to Be a Community

In Elementary, children become concerned with group dynamics, justice and fairness. The Grace and Courtesy curriculum includes class meetings, discussing and setting rules and experimenting with different forms of social order. Also, at the age when slapstick and body humour becomes the pinnacle of hilarity, children practice how to politely and appropriately react to belching, farts and other assorted bodily functions.

Tips: 

  • Have children responsible for running errands and communicating with representatives (at shops, post office, bank).

  • Encourage your child to make appointments and phone calls.

  • Together, practice writing greeting cards and letters to friends and family.

12-18 years: Entering the Great Wide World

Adolescents widen their view of the world: from the school and local community to society. Their Practical Life is now real “activities” like running a small business, raising funds for charity or volunteering, and must therefore be accompanied by Grace and Courtesy lessons in areas such as customer care, communicating with the authorities or advocating for a cause. It may seem too “real” for education, but that is a key principle of Practical Life as a whole: that it is entirely based in reality and affords as much so-called real-world experience as possible and appropriate for the developmental stage of the young human being.

Tips:

  • Encourage the adolescent to be active in community and local politics – connect with the municipal offices and address local issues that affect them. 

  • Seek out volunteering and service opportunities (like local charities, pet shelters, or needs of neighbours).

By Michaela Tučková, IMSP Toddler Teacher

Want to learn more? Read our next article:

MINDFULNESS: A KEY PART OF OUR ELEMENTARY CURRICULUM

Další články

Communicating with the Toddler Child

As teachers, we are often asked what special tips or tricks we use to get children to cooperate. Most often parents ask questions like “How can I get my child more interested in dressing and eating by themselves?”or “How can we make the mornings run more smoothly?” It can feel challenging when our patience is tested, but we must remember that children are learning to develop their own will and sense of obedience which is a natural process lasting until around six years of age.

Read more

Mentorship in our classrooms: Why Mixed Ages Work

Have you ever noticed the mixed-age classrooms in a Montessori school and wondered why? This is a specific design that allows younger children to benefit from having older peers as role models and mentors and enables older children to step into leadership roles. This model mirrors real-world experiences where people of different ages work together and learn from each other. 

Read more

Benefits of Practical Life for Toddler Development

“The first thing to realize about these exercises of practical life is that their aim is not a practical one. Emphasis should be laid not on the word “practical” but on the word life. Their aim is to assist development.”                                          E. M. Standing, Maria Montessori: Her Life and Work

Read more

IMSP PODCAST: MEET ALUMNA Laura van Steeg

“At IMSP, we were always taught how to speak to people, to be mindful, to listen to one another, and that really helped when it came to making new friends. Once you have friends, everything else is simple. Everything else, you can figure out.

Read more

The Independent Child

Why - and how - we nurture independence in our students

Read more
21.05.2019
Join us for an Interactive Open House Register for
Baby & Me
Register for
Toddler & Me
Virtual tour