Menu
 Zpět

Avoiding Labels

What exactly does it mean to label a child?

Labels, be they positive or negative, can do more harm than good to a child’s self-esteem and emotional development. They’re easy to say without thinking or in the heat of the moment, and many adults think them harmless. However, labels such as “you’re naughty”, “he is too shy”, “she’s bossy”, “she is a leader” can greatly influence how a child views him or herself; by labeling the child instead of his or her actions, we unwittingly create a permanent trait of who the child thinks he or she is. This is when labels become a dangerous mistake.

What's harmful about labeling? 

  • Labels box a child in - Whenever we label someone, even if we don’t say it out loud, in some ways, we are setting them up for more of that behavior. Think of us as adults and how we approach stereotypes. A child who is labeled “naughty” will be seen as such even when his or her motives are kind and innocent. Labelling prevents us from seeing the person or the child for who they truly are.

  • Labels influence expectations - In extreme cases, labels – even positive ones - help to form unrealistic expectations of a child, which can create perfectionist tendencies or anxiety. They definitely change our expectations and in turn create a self-fulfilling prophecy of the child’s behavior.

  • Labels can be wrong - Have you observed a child greeting teachers, other adults or even perfect strangers with smiles and waves on one day, and then hides completely the next? Humans have many complex emotions, behaviors, personalities and preferences, and the same goes for a young child. It’s impossible to summarize them in a simple label!

Montessori principles and how to use them at home

Suggestions to prevent labeling

Let’s start with baby steps. First, try to catch yourself when you use labels. Such awareness can help prompt you to hold back the next time you begin to label a child out loud, and will eventually help you to gather your thoughts and clarity when labels come to mind. Second, try to see a child as a person with behavior, be it positive or negative, and separate your views of a child from his or her behavior. This will help you connect and empathize with a child even when he or she misbehaves.

What we can do is to practice labeling a child’s behavior instead of them. For example, instead of saying, “you are shy”, try statements such as “it takes you a while to be comfortable with people” or “you are talkative with people you know well”. By taking steps to be aware of your choice of words, choosing the right words and approach, and labelling and addressing a child’s behavior instead of them, you help set them up for success in life rather than hindering them from reaching their fullest potential.

by Caryn Khoo

Want to learn more? Read our next article:

ABSORBENT MIND – A KEY PRINCIPLE IN MONTESSORI

Další články

IMSP PODCAST: MEET ALUMNA Laura van Steeg

“At IMSP, we were always taught how to speak to people, to be mindful, to listen to one another, and that really helped when it came to making new friends. Once you have friends, everything else is simple. Everything else, you can figure out.

Read more

Staff Interview: Greg McCracken

What is a motto that you live by?  When I was young, my dad often reminded me: “Always do your best.” In the same way, what I often try to keep in mind is "Do what you can, where you are, with what you have." 

Read more

Dealing with Emotions Through Art

“Social and emotional learning(SEL) is the process through which children and adults understand and manage emotions, set and achieve positive goals, feel and show empathy for others, establish and maintain positive relationships, and make responsible decisions.”

Read more

IMSP Podcast: Meet alumnus Hubert Kobr

Join us as our host, Mariana Bečková, interviews Hubert Kobr on this week’s edition of the IMSP alumni podcast. Born in the Czech Republic, Hubert attended IMSP until beginning an IB program in a traditional Czech school. Discussing his education after Montessori, he shares how IMSP’s English-language curriculum prepared him to take on such a rigorous academic plan.

Read more

Help! How Can I bring Montessori Into my Home?

You may see your child doing all kinds of productive work at school and then it seems that they are a completely different child at home. Does this happen to you? Toys lying all around the house and maybe your child does not want to clean up, or perhaps you are stuck with a sink full of dishes after dinner with no offers to help. There are some simple adjustments and additions that can easily be made in your home which will help you and your family build a happier and more cooperative household.

Read more
15.04.2023
Join us for an Interactive Open House Register for
Baby & Me
Register for
Toddler & Me
Virtual tour